It's Only Money. Right?

Well the perfect storm has happened to me. Sorta. The Volvo Penta MD7A has a shiny new feed pump and injector pump to go along with the new fuel tank and lines. What it doesn't have is compression. One of the cylinders (of two) has been diagnosed as severely deficient in this regard and the way to correct this is an engine rebuild.

YIKES!

I had a clue when the air intake was filled with oil. Holding my hand over the intake, I could feel as much air puffing out as was being pulled in. Well it IS 35 YEARS OLD! I’m concerned about the water jacket too.

The engine went out of production in 1985 or so. So I turned to the mechanic I’ve been using and said, “what do I do now?” In his best “don’t panic and come down off of that ledge” voice he said he’d take a look around. I held no hope. I saw only a huge bill and a new diesel engine.

He called a couple of days later and told me he’d found a source for the parts and they were sending him a price list shortly. So the gloom went away but I still see a huge bill. Volvo is really proud of their stuff and apparently they don’t like to let go of it so they hang a HUGE price tag on it. The trap is set. Yes, it will be sprung. If it comes in under the price of a newly rebuilt engine they’ll get their money. The little buggar will be pulled out of the boat so they can work in air conditioned comfort and I’ll take that opportunity to clean and repaint the engine compartment.

The new jib will be delivered soon too. The original is a thirty-five year old 140% that is now soft as a bed sheet. Engines I've worked on. Sails are new to me. After doing some research online about these things I decided to go to the sail maker down the street and get their input. They were gentle with me. We agreed that the 140% was too big and settled on a 120% instead. It will roll on the furling better, hold a better shape when furled and be more effective when fully deployed. One of the concerns was that the 140% would overpower the boat and create too much steering effort. I asked about colors and was told I could have any color “as long as it’s white.” Echoes of Henry Ford. I had visions of paisley, maybe plaid, or even tie dye. Oh well. The price of conformity.

I’ll order the new main sail and cover later in the season.

So here I sit at the dock just waiting on contractors to descend and make things good again. My checkbook is at the ready.  Because once I get this baby away from the dock I’m gonna be gone sailing. The fun starts with playing in the bay, anchoring out and getting sunburned messing with the dinghy, learning to live away from 120 volts and not being able to walk to the parking lot for just any little thing.

Yep. My evil scheme is coming together nicely. I shall conquer the bay, then the Gulf of Mexico and then….THE WORLD!!! Muhahahah!

Getting Closer to the Finish Line

On the drive in to work this morning I was thinking about getting this project completed by the end of this year. Rush hour traffic tends to get me thinking along those lines. I’ve said it before; there is nothing I will miss about the commute to work. When start thinking about balmy breezes, clear water and sand my mind seems to wander a bit.

I’ve got a dinghy now. I’d been watching it in the local used boat stuff store and finally decided to go ahead and get it. For the price I believe I did okay. I’ll need to buy the oars and oar locks and get a cover made. I have the rig I need to haul it aboard the sailboat. At just over 100 pounds, I’ll be able to handle it by myself.

I’ve decided against an outboard for it. I don’t want to carry gasoline onboard and the darn things are pretty fussy. I’ll stick to rowing for now. There is a hole in the forward seat for a mast. I have visions of a beach umbrella casting shade over the boat in place of the mast. I’ll get back to you on that.

I’m at my wit’s end waiting for the mechanic to re-install the diesel rebuilt injector pump and injectors. It’s been 60 days and I’m getting mixed signals from him. I’ll just have to keep calling, I guess. I may have to find another supplier.

The jib was torn up a bit when we had winds gusting to 50 mph in the marina. My neighbors did a hell of a job getting it under control but the damage is done. I’m in the market for new sails. They’re available online, made to the original specifications. I’m gonna save up and get them in a couple of months. I’ll need a new/used whisker pole too.

There’s much to be done: Fiberglass work, stepping the mast and rewiring it; a couple of plumbing changes finishing the engine work with filters and such; cushions and curtains; standing rigging. Odds and ends like that.

I believe I can have it done by December and get in plenty of sailing time too before my deadline of my birthday 2014.

Here’s hoping I don’t go completely nuts before then. I know that once the boat is done I’ll have a tough time waiting for the right time to leave.

Overwrought or Overthought?

I spend a lot of time thinking about the future and not coming to any conclusions. If I wanna sail away why don’t I? Because I need the money to make it work. So here I sit making the money I need and asking these questions.

It’s not really that difficult when you remove the influence of another person, lover, wife, significant other because they clog up the works on what you actually want to do.  

And then remove the desire to excel at a profession.  The tech writing is a means to an end.

The music on the other hand is still my first love. But that may be changing with the lack of success with the band.

I have enough going on that I can’t focus too clearly on any one thing. That is a problem. I really have to get a grip on what is important. I see Terry and Buddy and Tom and Jeff and Sam and I wonder when the bottom will fall out for me. That only increases the stress and pressure to move in the direction that I choose.

Getting the boat ready and leaving is only a part of what I want to accomplish in the next 20 years. Writing and recording that CD is still on the list. Writing fiction is another. I don’t feel I have the life experience that some of these guys I know have. Sure, I have some of my own but I don’t see it. I need to have a mirror to reflect back on me to see what they are.  Hence, the blog.

That is separate from the health issue that I see with the fellows I’ve mentioned above. I see my plan coming together in the next few months for downsizing and living more cheaply. Until then, it’s hold and wait. So while I’m waiting I need to plan for the eventuality of the goals being met.

For the short term – I’ll finish training and doing the MS150; spend a few bucks to get the solar panel  system installed; clean the fuel tank and get the engine running again; re-wire the 120V circuit; get the taxes done; passport.

For the mid term – get the 401k stuff transferred and set up the contribution amount; maybe sell the Miata; make the wood repairs to the sailboat; (cut vents in the hanging locker, replace the bottoms of the storage areas, vent the head medicine cabinet, build the companion way boards, install the composting head and remove the blackwater tank and pumpout port; close off the required thru hulls; curtains; galley cooking arrangement).

For the long term – get the fiberglass repaired and painted; step the mast and update the running rigging; replace the engine; finish getting rid of the excess stuff in storage.

Some form of personal relationship? I have an opportunity with a woman that’s interested in me but there’s much to consider. Do I want to make the room in the plan for her? That would require compromises I’m not certain I want to make. The conversation illustrates to me how alone I am and I’d like to have someone to share stuff with. I’d be a lucky guy to capture her attention and time. Right now it’s all up in the air. Isn’t it always? I’ve learned enough now to know that none of that stuff is permanent.  Circumstances change and so do people. A solid intimate relationship today can turn into a nasty separation later. I guess that’s the price to pay. Nothing is forever.

That helps. Looking at it on the screen makes it easier to organize what needs to be done. I’m told I overthink stuff but I don’t see that as a bad thing.  I have to line up the ducks to get the most out of the limited funds and time I have.

I’m giving this new gig 24 months. On one hand because I just don’t wanna to office work no more and on the other because my plan calls for having the boat ready by the time I turn 55. Scary, it’s not that far off. 26 months. But who’s counting? I hope to go cruising for 12 to 18 months and then come home. If it goes longer than that that’s okay too. Shoot. If I never come back and spend the rest of my days lazing around the world in the boat then so be it. Otherwise I’ll come back and re-evaluate and perhaps go back to tech writing.

I’d prefer not to do that but it’s lucrative and I have the contacts. We’ll see. I’m betting on living off of the music and photography and the occasional girlfriend. What else is there? I’ve learned that everything is short term. Marriage, work, health, life in general. I no longer see the point of dedicating myself to something only to lose it in the long run. Getting by on less and enjoying people and places makes more sense now than it ever has before. I expect I’ll live a longer, healthier life by leaving my present world behind.

When I look at things in this new light I have a harder time getting upset about things. Other than being stuck until I can make it happen, that is.

On Making Lists, Keeping an Eye on the Ball and Quality Napping

It’s so easy to lose focus. With all that is going on in our lives, we tend to deal with what’s on fire right in front of us and put off getting to the other, more important stuff later. Of course, the assumption is there will be a later.

For me it’s: 1) the day job, 2) selling off the stuff that doesn’t fit the plan anymore and 3) getting the last of the taxes paid on some rental property I own.

The day job is self explanatory. Without it, all the other stuff isn’t funded. When things get shaky at work all of the rest is in jeopardy. The effect is twofold; on the one hand I have to knuckle down and get serious about pleasing the work powers that be and on the other I have to remember that there is more to life than work. Tiz a tough balance to maintain.

Taxes are taxes.  "Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s…" and all of that. Doing so usually puts some pressure on the checkbook and requires some careful timing and eating cheap for several weeks. Try as I might it’s always stressful.

Of course, the main goal is to get debt free and eventually sail off for a couple of years--maybe several years. Losing sight of that goal is too easy. I get caught up in the day-to-day numbers and schedules and details of getting through each day. The hard part is dealing with what is right in front of me while looking over its shoulder to the big goal. So what I’ve done is create a list. I’m a daily list kinda guy but this is one that I’ll post by the door so I can see it several times a day. I’ve even put it up at work.  The list covers what I want to accomplish for the next 12 months. I even called it, “Here are the 12 (or so) things I want to accomplish for 2012.” That’s as descriptive a title as I could come up with. The things include:

* Meditate, stretch and drop the sugar

* No more lottery tickets, vending machine garbage or munching

* Get serious about writing lyrics and blog entries. Seriously work on the guitar act

* Bicycle instead of drive whenever possible

* Get a local doctor and physical exam

* Finish the solar panel installation

* Install a composting toilet

* Log at least six hours of sailing a month

* Use the kerosene stove

* Learn to fish and clean fish

While some of these things don’t seem all that difficult, several are. I’ve been a sugar-holic for years so that’s a toughie to beat. Driving is sooo much easier when it’s just a short hop to the store. The kerosene stove thing is about cooking and I’m not much on cooking. It takes time, planning and doing stuff that is so much easier to get from opening a bag or package. Yep. It’s gonna take some effort.

I figure 30 minutes a day to meditate, maybe an hour or two a week for the guitar act, how much time does learning to cook take? No more lottery tickets and such is actually saving time, I suppose. Fishing? How do you figure that in?

And then there's getting in some quality napping.

Well here I sit with my feet on the table and the laptop on my lap. Where else? It's been a busy and rewarding day. One of those where you feel you can acutally say you did something.

The cat is storing up energy on the new mattress top in the forward berth and I can actually see places in the boat that have been covered up by stuff for the last year. I've got John Prine on the speakers and am contemplating something to drink.

I've got work tomorrow and that means an early night. This 'early to bed and early to rise' stuff can be a pain sometimes.

I spent the time driving to and from Florida making some decisions. Things like; I'm going to eat less of everything and sugar in particular; I'll make a point of meditating at least once a day; To think more positively and spend at least six hours a month sailing. You know, actually taking the boat into the bay! I sat at the coffee shop writing these and several more plans down to print out and keep near the door and maybe at work. I'm a list kinda guy but never to this extent. We'll see if it works.

By this time next year I plan to have the boat ready to go. That's a pretty big step so I may let myself slip on the schedule by a few months. Frankly, I'm tired of waiting and letting myself off of various hooks. That's another of the habits to break. Time is just too short to play that game any more.

I hope you're motivated to something similar. Stop waiting for something better to happen and put out the effort to make it happen.

Year End Thoughts on Destiny, Thoughts and Becoming a Character

The winter solstice is a good time to reflect on the year that has passed. I've made the annual trek to Florida to meet with the family and catch up from the year. Many good things have happened. Minor operations, some not so minor, job changes and new jobs started. All in all it's been a good year.


I've been in a bit of a panic expecting the worst for the world economy and, thankfully, have been wrong so far. Maybe things won't fall apart. A friend of mine told me to stop thinking like that. The laws of attraction will make the thoughts come true.
There's the saying,

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."

Roohina Doloo's words ring true for me. I have learned that we see what we program ourselves to see. I needed that reminder. So this year I'll make that effort.


The plans to take the boat south are still in place. I intend to have the boat ready for my 55th birthday. There's much to be done. I'm trying for simplicity. Minimal electrical needs, not a lot of technical stuff and perhaps a composting head to simplify the plumbing system.


There is, of course, becoming proficient at sailing. What a waste to have the boat ready but not be able to make it go where I want it to!


Hopefully the finances will be ready too. Although I expect to be in the situation Sterling Hayden suggests here:

“To be truly challenging, a voyage, like a life, must rest on a firm foundation of financial unrest. Otherwise, you are doomed to a routine traverse, the kind known to yachtsmen who play with their boats at sea… cruising, it is called. Voyaging belongs to seamen, and to the wanderers of the world who cannot, or will not, fit in. If you are contemplating a voyage and you have the means, abandon the venture until your fortunes change. Only then will you know what the sea is all about. "I’ve always wanted to sail to the south seas, but I can’t afford it.” What these men can’t afford is not to go. They are enmeshed in the cancerous discipline of security. And in the worship of security we fling our lives beneath the wheels of routine – and before we know it our lives are gone. What does a man need – really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in – and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That’s all – in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention for the sheer idiocy of the charade. The years thunder by, The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed. Where, then, lies the answer? In choice. Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life?”

The thought of striking out on my own, relying only upon my wits, is intimidating. Almost enough to keep me ashore. Almost. I know that I am not without friends and by placing myself out there I'll make more.

So looking forward I'll make these few promises to myself; more meditating, more positive thinking and more working on my character for thoughts eventually become character. I've always wanted to be known as a character!I'm just full of other people's words today. That's fine. That's how I've learned much of what I know. Sometimes I believe I have no original thoughts in my head.

Saying No to Saying No

I have been experimenting for the last year. I decided to stop saying ‘no’ to people when they ask me to do something.  The results have been interesting.

In my 'no' phase of life, I spent a lot of time at home and sat around biding my time.  I gained weight, wished I had more friends and got tied up in my own head waaay too much.

In my 'post no' phase I have been introduced to acting in a local theater group, been offered a weekend job watching some new friends’ dogs in their million dollar house and agreed to ride in the MS 150, a bicycle ride between Houston and Austin, Texas. I’ve even started this blog.

That time sitting in front of the tube passing the days away has been filled with new friends and interests. In a conversation with a dock buddy I described how busy I was these days and he commented that he’d rather not be beholden to someone else or overscheduled.  From there I went to the theater for rehearsal and he headed home to watch the game on TV.

I’ve always told myself that I was open to new ideas and things to experience. But reflecting back on that it was mostly talk.

I guess the gist of it is that while I’m more tired and a bit stressed about making the schedule work sometimes, I’m more engaged and enjoy myself more.

I’m even considering changing jobs. Now I’m convinced that really soon now the bottom will fall out of the economy and moving to a new job may not be the best idea. But I’m also convinced that life is just too short to hang back and be cautious. I’ve read about folks that have done just fine when they’ve taken a chance and failed.  They learn and they move on. I’ve done it a time or two myself. Playing it too safe is causing me to get cranky and life’s just too short.